Who Gives A Crap Bamboo Toilet Paper

Look, I will not get into all the details. Different strokes for different folks and everyone's butthole is a bit different. Mine is a bit sensitive and I'm going to leave it at that for now (also see: Bidet, Preparation H Buttwipes, and inescapable aging-related entropy in general).

What I will scream for the rooftops here is that this toilet paper is objectively the least comfortable toilet paper I have ever used. It does not stand up to water very well (see: Bidet pre-wipe rinsing). It rips poorly. It is abrasive and sharp and unforgiving. And even for the sake of debate. let’s say there’s a skill issue re: the fold vs. ball debate, and uhhh sphincter dilation practice? But even given all that is top 1%, you would not be able to escape the levels of wiping discomfort and frustration trying to make this TP work.

I would rather have single ply commercial office toilet paper. And note: this bamboo crap is allegedly triple ply! At least crumby commercial office toilet paper’s only real dangers are a finger breaking through and/or the general lack of premium softness. This Who Gives a Crap bamboo paper is a menace and should not be sold or given to anyone under any circumstance.

And you're paying a premium for this toilet paper experience. Perhaps I'm underestimating the trade-offs of sustainably sourced bamboo toilet paper, but I don't care. This is not a real solution for proper health, wellness, and hygiene.

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